Monday, June 23, 2008

The Castration of Loyola Academy

Like hundreds of formerly all-boys school in the USA, Loyola Academy has been castrated. What was initially a plan to bring two schools together(for the most nebulous of reasons) has obviously developed into a plan to completely cater to girls.

Don't believe me? Check out the Loyola Academy online brochure. It's practically screaming for girls's enrollment, while quietly shooing away boys.

Here's how it went down:

Phase One - Convince liberal elements of the Loyola Academy administration that Marillac must merge with the school to survive.

Phase Two - When other members of the administration disagree with the merger, argue "demographics."

Phase Three - Slowly retire and transfer 99% of the Jesuits from Loyola. Jesuits mean tough discipline and there can't be any of that, can there?

Phase Four - Retire or fire any old guard lay teachers who won't play along.

Phase Five - Disband all groups on campus that promote masculinity or elitism.

Phase Six - Completely stop all macho activities at the school such as: matball, intramural floor hockey at lunch, the Loyola Walk, yelling at students, anything resembling physical punishment, etc, etc, etc.

Phase Seven - If any of the old guard do return like Father Arimond, give them a position where they will not be able to enforce any discipline or act as they did in the past.

Phase Eight - In order to brainwash the new students at Loyola, erase all institutional memory of the OLD LOYOLA ACADEMY. Create an atmosphere, as if the school never existed before 1994.

Phase Nine- Create smoke and mirrors presentations for the alumni at reunions explaining how great the school is now that it's coed.

Phase Ten - Count on time as your best friend. With each passing year, more alumni from the OLD LOYOLA ACADEMY pass away.

I would love to say that Loyola's problems are unique to that institution alone, but the facts paint a different picture of a deeper problem in America's schools.

The last 14 years at Loyola Academy have evolved into an educational version of The Manchurian Candidate, with the school itself as the brain-washed sap.

Wilmette Prep


Anonymous said...

Hey, man. I go to Loyola Academy currently. I am fed up with the liberal status quo. I completely agree with your article, but the problem is so much deeper. They are practically preaching liberation theology.

Anonymous said...

I played hockey at Loyola in the 70's and it was with a tinge of regret that my son went to Lake Forest Academy (LFA) on a hockey scholarship for several years. LFA beat LA each time they played durig my sons time at LFA. My son told me about all of the whining/gum flapping that the LA players did when they played which we sure as hell did not do in the 70's and also how most of the players were from Lake Forest, Highland Park, (wealthy suburbs) whereas our team was comprised of kids from Chicago, Park Ridge, and other more blue collar suburbs. Makes sense now after reading this blog.

Anonymous said...

It's called change, deal with it Neanderthals...